Disclaimer: The following blog post consists of a personal account of my family’s recent experience welcoming my son, Connor, into the larger post-womb world. The post references nothing untoward, but I am quite certain that most readers will find it a tedious, boring exposition. I vow to discuss a legally relevant (hopefully exciting) topic next time.
My family and I welcomed my son, Connor Bradley Owens (7lbs 12 oz., 20 and ¼ inches) on December 16, 2011. We elected to induce labor due to concerns regarding Cephalopelvic Disproportion (we consulted several doctors regarding this issue, including a friend of mine who practices family medicine in Boise, Idaho). However, we probably would have elected to induce labor even in the absence of concerns regarding CPD due to concerns regarding our daughter’s ability to adapt to unfamiliar circumstances and surroundings.
My 2 year old daughter, Alani, has been evaluated by a team of psychologists at Mailman Segal Institute, and while we do not have an official diagnosis yet, we are relatively certain that she has an Autism Spectrum Disorder. Due to the fact that we have no family residing in the vicinity, we were concerned about Alani’s care during the delivery. I, of course, wanted to be in attendance during my wife’s (Davina) labor and Connor’s birth event. Unfortunately, at that time, Alani had never been alone with anyone other than Davina or me. Furthermore, she typically demonstrated apprehension and even anxiety around strangers. In fact, we have had certified behavior analysts visiting our home for a few months now, and (although she has made wonderful progress) it is obvious that she still experiences anxiety around them; she typically runs the other direction and cries (sometimes, “bloody murder”) when they enter our home. As you can imagine, we did not want just anyone caring for Alani during the birth event.
Fortunately, we contacted Davina’s mother and my parents to schedule a time to induce labor that would be convenient for everyone. Her mother flew in from New York, New York, the morning of the 15th and my parents drove in from Sarasota, Florida the evening of the same day. Unfortunately, although Alani has met and interacted with our parents on a few occasions, her exposure to them has been limited due to multiple logistical issues. So, even though we were able to secure our most trusted relatives for our daughter’s care, Davina and I were still pretty nervous about how Alani would react to our combined absences as well as to grandparents with whom she has had little contact. We imagined that she might react so negatively to our absence or to her grandparents that I might have to miss Connor’s birth to care for her; I was both prepared and wholly devoted to that eventuality. In our estimation, Alani’s emotional wellbeing outweighed my interest in experiencing the birth event including my son’s initial entrance into the world; after all, Alani and I would have been permitted entry sometime shortly following Connor’s birth. So, even recruiting our parents to watch Alani during labor and the subsequent birth event did not offer any substantial hope that I would be able to attend Davina during labor and delivery. In fact, based on Alani’s intensely negative reactions to her behavior analysts, we were prepared for a very unhappy Alani who would probably require her father’s calming presence.
Miraculously (in the very “improbable,” rather than in a religious or contrary to physical laws sense), Alani, not only fared well, but seemed quite content while in her grandparents’ care. Fortuitously, we were quartered in the room situated closest to the delivery area entrance, while our parents and Alani lounged in the waiting room, which was the first room to the right upon exiting the delivery area. So, even though, I had to be buzzed in and out of the delivery area on each occasion, I was able to travel back and forth between the delivery and the waiting rooms up until I was sure that Alani would not have a negative reaction to her parents’ absence or to her grandparents; she actually fell asleep about an hour before Connor’s birth, which permitted (at Davina’s request) the grandmothers to be present during the delivery. My father kept both eyes on Alani as she slept soundly; Alani is typically a late riser, but she had been up since around 6:00 A.M. that morning as we prepared to leave for the hospital.
Other than two issues I shall discuss following this paragraph, our labor, delivery and recovery experience at the unnamed facility went rather well; Connor entered the world healthy (he scored a 9.9 on the Apgar) and without incident and Alani never appeared to become distressed. We were also very happy that we were able to share the experience with our parents. Davina’s mother was actually able to stay for the next two weeks; we were amazed at how close she and Alani got during that period. Alani went to her grandmother for assistance and comfort quite often during those two weeks, which is something she had never done previously with anyone but her parents.
Issues:
1.
We arrived at our assigned room just prior to 7:30 A.M. accompanied by Alani and her maternal grandmother. Just moments after entering the room, a nurse informed us in a rather authoritative manner that Alani could not be present in the room (a fact of which we already quite well aware, but we had just arrived). I asked the nurse when Alani had to leave and she responded by stating NOW in a manner whose tone brooked no argument. Now, we knew that Alani could not be present during labor or delivery, but we had just arrived and a “good morning,” “how are you,” or some other pleasantry might have been more conducive to providing a good start to what should be a beautiful experience for an expectant family.
Davina, who was already somewhat anxious, was quite put off by the nurse’s attitude. I informed the nurse and her second, rather politely (in my view), that while she may have participated in more birth events than she cares to recount, most of those under her care have not, and as such still hold the experience to be somewhat magical and special. We had just arrived and I would have escorted my mother-in-law and Alani to the waiting room once Davina was properly situated. The nurse’s insensitive attitude had a negative effect on my psychological state; I can only imagine how my uncomfortable, 39 weeks pregnant, wife felt. Thankfully, the nurse was quite pleasant following our discussion.
2.
The anesthesiologist on duty at that time was able to perform an epidural, but was unfamiliar with a new delivery device. As such, while Davina received an initial dosage, which sufficiently numbed the lower half of her body, the device was not set to provide a continuous flow. Consequently, the medication wore off about an hour prior to delivery at which point Davina began to experience extremely intense, frequent contractions whose severity was as visible in her facial expressions as they were on the monitor. As ill fortune would have it, the anesthesiologist actually left for the day (I suppose after completing her shift) without returning to check Davina’s condition. Only after informing the nursing staff of the situation was another anesthesiologist dispatched; it took approximately 30 minutes for him to arrive. He noted that the device was not set properly and began to administer medication manually; he continued to administer the medication manually for at least 20 minutes until he was certain that it had taken effect. He apologized profusely and congratulated us in advance regarding our son’s impending arrival.
Generally, the epidural does not (and is not intended to) completely eradicate pain or feeling, but in our case, after multiple manual injections, Davina felt absolutely nothing below her xiphoid process. My understanding is that it is best if the pregnant woman has at least some feeling so that she is able to time her pushes with the onset of each contraction. Davina did not offer any complaints in this regard.
Final Thoughts:
Regardless of the above mentioned issues, we had a beautiful experience. I was able to be an active participant during Connor’s birth (I cut the cord), my daughter fared well and our parents were included as well; it was quite a wondrous experience.
I would like to extend my incalculable gratitude to my coworkers at the LLTC who took the time to offer their sentiments via a beautiful card as well as to bless us with a considerable monetary gift. Thank you. You are all wonderful human beings!
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